Monday, December 27, 2010

After a While


After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.


And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman

Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstal


Wednesday, December 08, 2010

What Not to Say About Someone's Appearance


Don’t say: “You look tired.”
Why:
It implies she doesn’t look good.
Instead say:
“Is everything OK?” We often blurt the “tired” comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.

Don’t say: “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”
Why:
To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.
Instead say:
“You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. If you’re curious about how she got so svelte, add, “What’s your secret?”

Don’t say: “You look good for your age.”
Why:
Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It's saying, "You look great―compared with other old people. It's amazing you have all your own teeth."
Instead say:
“You look great.”

Don’t say: “I could never wear that.”
Why:
It can be misunderstood as a criticism. (“I could never wear that because it’s so ugly.”)
Instead say:
“You look so good in skinny jeans.” If you slip, say something like “I could never wear that…because I wasn’t blessed with your long legs.”